Why pretend? Most people, at least some of the time, view political races the way they do the rest of TV — as entertainment. Candidates have become performers, judged less for the content of their speeches than for the shows they put on. In this spirit, and to get an early handle on the 1992 presidential campaign, we rate the TV debuts — their announcement addresses — of the official candidates (seven Democrats, no Republicans) so far:
Larry Agran 46, former mayor of Irvine, Calif.
Sound Bite: ''Larry
Agran isn't exactly a household name throughout America.''
Hairstyle:
Alan Alda. Hurdles: Considered this year's ''joke'' candidate.
TV
Charisma: Has all the on-screen magnetism of a young Walter Mondale.
Forced gestures, awkward pauses, and a really boring indoor backdrop
gave his speech the unmistakable imprint of rinky-dink.
Bonus Points:
Has some $7,000 in the campaign kitty. D
James Brown 53, the former Zen governor of California. He's
already made history as the first presidential candidate ever to
announce via fax-thus no picture here.
Sound Bite: ''Government has
become the cover story for political fund-raising.''
Hairstyle: Mister
Rogers meets Vidal Sassoon.
Hurdles: Has promised not to accept
contributions of more than $100.
TV Charisma: He's studiously
avoiding it.
Bonus Points: Used to date Linda Ronstadt. C
Williams Clinton 45, governor of Arkansas.
Sound Bite: ''I'm not out
to soak the rich — I wouldn't mind being rich myself.''
Hairstyle: Boris
Yeltsin. Hurdles: His nomination address for Michael Dukakis at the
1988 Democratic convention went on so long people started cheering
when he said, ''In conclusion ''
TV Charisma: His half-hour
announcement speech was so windy it's amazing it didn't blow over the
podium. Nice, flag-bedecked backdrop, though.
Bonus Points: Rhodes
scholar. C-
Tom Arkin 51, U.S. senator from Iowa.
Sound Bite: ''We've got too
many people making money on money.''
Hairstyle: Dan Rather.
Hurdles:
Dumb enough to admit to being a liberal.
TV Charisma: Has the
man-of-the-people look down pat — he announced wearing a blue workshirt
and chinos. Overdoes the finger-in-the-air gesticulations, though.
Bonus Points: Brave enough to admit to being a liberal. B+
Bob Kerrey
48, U.S. senator from Nebraska.
Sound Bite: ''We can and
should trust again!''
Hairstyle: Andy Warhol a la Jerry Mathers.
Hurdles: Shies away from Bush bashing.
TV Charisma: Hippest of the
bunch, opening his announcement address with Springsteen's ''Born to
Run.'' Could use some technical help, however: He announced with his
back to the sun, which makes for rotten TV lighting.
Bonus Points:
Lost part of a leg fighting in Vietnam; used to date Debra Winger. B+
Paul Tsongas 50, former U.S. senator from Massachusetts.
Sound
Bite: ''Enough of this Washington mediocrity!''
Hairstyle: A 10th-grade
math teacher.
Hurdles: He's Greek, a liberal, and from Massachusetts
hmmm, where have we heard this before?
TV Charisma: The Stepford
Candidate. Tsongas' announcement was as riveting as a lecture on the
Laffer curve.
Bonus Points: Chutzpah. D-
L. Douglas Wilder 60, governor of Virginia.
Sound Bite: ''I
recognize that I am the longest of long shots.''
Hairstyle: Ted
Baxter.
Hurdles: Where to begin? He's still rumored to be seeing Pat
Kluge — ex-wife of billionaire John Kluge — and he's only recently
mopped up a very public spitting match with U.S. senator Chuck Robb,
his fellow Virginian and Democrat.
TV Charisma: Folksy,
revival-hall style made his announcement address easy listening.
Snappy dresser, too.
Bonus Points: Grandson of a slave. B-
