Advise & Consent

EW Rates the Senators

Joseph Biden (D-Del.)
A grandstander who turned into the panel's Senator Least Likely to Be Conned, he did his best to goad the truth out of everyone, including his colleagues. A-

Orrin Hatch (R-Utah)
Orrin! The Orrinator! The Hatch-et man! Attackin' Anita! Makin' his points! Makin' presumptions! C+

Alan Simpson (R-Wyo.)
When he threatened Hill with ''real harassment, different from the sexual kind, just plain old Washington harassment,'' you remembered his vicious insults to CNN's Peter Arnett during the gulf war, and then you remembered to dismiss him as an inexplicably bitter bully. D-

Strom Thurmond (R-S.C.)
Personals: Aging white male ex-segregationist seeks absolutely anyone who can explain contemporary African-Americans to him. Didn't have a clue. F

Edward Kennedy (D-Mass.)
A walking tragedy: Articulate yet plainspoken, compassionate yet shrewd, idealistic yet pragmatic — that is, when he could rouse himself to speak, which wasn't often. All too aware, it seemed, that much of America despises him as a letch or worse. Incomplete

Paul Simon (D-Ill.) Sometimes his slow, deliberate manner can yield thoughtful intelligence; this time he seemed lackadaisically uninvolved, an opportunity for Al Franken to dust off his great impersonation on Saturday Night Live. Maybe bow ties cut off blood to the head. C-

Howard Metzenbaum (D-Ohio)
Rendered ineffectual-a rattled Don Knotts-by all those feeble defenses he had to keep making for his staff of eager-beaver, anti-Thomas dirt-diggers. C-

Arlen Specter (R-Pa.)
Dropping his Gs to simulate folksiness while going in for a Hill kill, throwing around the word ''perjury'' as if he owned it, efficiently polishing up Thomas, Specter turned in an undeniably great, boldly ruthless performance. A-

Patrick Leahy (D-Vt.)
The flickering ghost of liberalism incarnate: earnest, smart, hesitant, vague, superfluous, lacking purpose. C

Howell Heflin (D-Ala.)
Obsessed with proving that Hill lived in — his favorite phrase — ''a fantasy world,'' Heflin confused sexism with foxiness. Forget the movies: If Andy Griffith and William Conrad are too tired to perform every week, just combine their shows (Fatlock?) and sign up ol' Howell. D