They sang, they squabbled, they wrote books, they wore snakes, they signed contracts, they made millions. It was just another year in the life of the Jackson Bunch. If you kids don't stop whining this instant, we're gonna turn this car around right now!
March 11
Janet signs the most lucrative recording contract to date.
Virgin Records reportedly pays $40 million for a three-album deal.
Take that, Michael!
March 20
Michael one-ups Janet in a six-album deal with Sony, valued at
$65 million. He agrees to star in a ''musical action adventure'' film
for Sony's Columbia Pictures (no word yet on its progress-big
surprise) and gets his own label, Nation Records. Nyah nyah!
May 13
Michael Jackson: The Magic and the Madness arrives in
bookstores. Among writer J. Randy Taraborrelli's unauthorized
revelations: Father Joe Jackson flaunted his extramarital affairs in
front of the children. Michael's publicist says the superstar didn't
read a word of the new book: ''Mr. Jackson is trying to finish an
album, and this book is definitely not a priority.'' Did too! Did not!
Did too too too!
July 12
La Toya appears at a Long Island animal cemetery with her python
to protest a pet-burial fraud. The cemetery owners had allegedly been
accepting payments for lavish funerals for animals that they never
performed. ''Not enough people realize that pets have souls, just like
people do,'' she tells reporters. Nicey-nice!
September 11
La Toya's autobiography, La Toya: Growing Up in the Jackson
Family, hits stores. The tell-all suggests that Mom and Pop were
anti-Semites and that Pop was a child abuser; Mom and Pop deny the
charges. She also reveals that among Michael's ''very personal
souvenirs is his own nose cartilage, extracted during surgery.''
Tee-hee! Take that, bro!
September 19
An uncredited Michael does voice work on The Simpsons: He plays
a white mental patient who thinks he's Michael Jackson. With his own
stuffed Bubbles!
October 1
Michael's glove is stolen from Detroit's Motown Museum. Rapper
Hammer offers $50,000 for its return. A fan gives it back and is
arrested. Gimme!
October 6
Michael plays host to Elizabeth Taylor at her wedding to Larry
Fortensky, giving the bride away. Yucch! Kissing!
November 1
La Toya appears nude in Playboy magazine — again. With a large
snake — again. Ooooh! Naked lady! Open to that page where you see her
you-know-whats!
November 2
As Michael's new album, Dangerous, is readied for release,
Jermaine disses his baby brother in ''Word to the Badd!!'':
''Reconstructed, been abducted/Don't know who you are/Think they love
you, they don't know you/Lonely superstar.'' Jermaine says he was
retaliating for eight months of unreturned phone calls. ''I understand
he's a very busy person,'' Jermaine complains, but ''you begin to
wonder if he hasn't just completely lost touch with reality.'' It was
a joke. A joke! Can't you take a joke??
November 14
Michael's $4 million, 11-minute video, ''Black or White,'' debuts
on Fox, MTV, and BET. Includes major crotch-grabbing and car bashing.
Major video bashing follows. The next day, Fox apologizes: ''In
hindsight, this decision (to air the video after The Simpsons) was in
error. Based on calls we've received, the strong symbolism used in
one sequence overshadowed the film's message about racial harmony.''
Jackson offers a tamer version of the vid Nov. 17. Oh, he's ba-a-ad!
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