3 THE DOORS (1991, LIVE, $92.95, R) Even if you liked Oliver Stone's lysergic cook's tour through Jim Morrison's life and times, the home-video version is a tinny souvenir. The early sections remain watchable, but to get across the brute force of Stone's endless concert and orgy sequences, you'd need a big- screen projection TV and a full Sensurround system. For a movie this portentously silly, it's just not worth it. Shorn of its theatrical sound and fury, The Doors signifies nothing.
MUSIC VIDEOS BEST: RED, HOT + BLUE (1990, 6 West, $19.98, unrated) Here's one all-star tribute that stands out-and it's for a good cause. Performers like U2, k.d. lang, the Neville Brothers, and Jody Watley rework Cole Porter, with the proceeds going to AIDS research. The video versions (originally broadcast on ABC) are mostly ingenious, witty, and touching, with the prize going to Iggy Pop and Debbie Harry's riotously snide take on "Well, Did You Evah!"
WORST: TWO ROOMS-ELTON JOHN.BERNIE TAUPIN (1991, PolyGram, $19.95, unrated) Hands-down winner of the Spinal Tap award for fatuousness above and beyond the call of rock & roll duty. You may enjoy this 90-minute-long tribute to Elton John and his longtime lyricist-both wearing headgear to hide their bald spots- if (1) you need to know the deep inner meaning of "Daniel" or (2) you think pop music has all been downhill since 1975. Maybe it has, but these two helped.
LASERDISC BEST: THE LAST PICTURE SHOW (1971, Criterion, $124.95, R) and CRITERION TELEVISION CLASSICS: I LOVE LUCY (1991, Criterion, $49.95, unrated) These two packages contain a wealth of entertaining, informative supplements. Picture Show seems more brilliant than ever, with seven minutes of outtakes restored by director Peter Bogdanovich. The Lucy disc plays like a glossy picture-book of the future: You can watch priceless shtick in two episodes, then delve into acres of production stills, script pages, and biographical text.
WORST :MY FAIR LADY SPECIAL WIDESCREEN EDITION (1964, CBS/Fox/Image, $69.98, G) As Audrey Hepburn's cockney Eliza Doolittle might put it, wide-screen my . bloomin' arse. Lerner & Loewe's panoramic movie musical has indeed been letterboxed here, but an electronic "squeeze" in the images renders the cast anorexic. Worse, video "enhancement" intended to sharpen the picture makes it smeary and colorless. Wouldn't it be loverly if CBS/Fox recalled this botch for a makeover?
DOCUMENTARIES BEST: 28 UP (1984, Real, $79.95, unrated) Michael Apted's documentary is a life project in every sense of the word: He filmed fourteen 7-year-olds in 1963, then went back when they were 14, 21, and 28. The results are not unlike those stop-motion films of flowers blooming, except that these are people, and what's going on is a lot more complex. Vast in scope, heartbreakingly specific in detail.
WORST: MADONNA...THE REAL STORY! (1991, Goodtimes, $9.95, unrated) Okay, if you're silly enough to actually buy this, maybe you won't mind that it's the video equivalent of lite popcorn. But for a quickie cash-in, couldn't they have thrown in something more than old news footage, still photos, and a "celebrity columnist" gassing away on the producer's sofa? Like, how about some nice unsubstantiated dirt?
