LOOSE CANNONS

Did Dan Aykroyd get his role in Loose Cannons because Robin Williams wasn't available? In this dunderheaded buddy movie from director Bob Clark (Porky's), Aykroyd does a kind of prosaic, slow-motion version of Robin the mental quick- change artist. Playing a cop with multiple personalities, he starts out as the usual Aykroyd straight man: prim, precise, a techno-nerd in a bow tie. Then, he shifts gears and launches into rapid-fire impressions of pop-culture icons (the Cowardly Lion, Dirty Harry, Captain Kirk). If only his fire were a bit more rapid. Aykroyd is a serviceable impressionist, but someone made a very grave mistake in thinking his little act was an entire movie. After a while, it's like watching a guy dance arouud with a lampshade on his head. The film's one bona fide guffaw-it's not intentional-comes when Aykroyd's partner, Gene Hackman, tries to ease the madness in his buddy's brain by quoting (with a perfectly straight face) Dylan Thomas' ''Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night.'' Next up for director Clark: Porky's IV: Madame Bovary's Revenge. F

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