Rivers To Cross

Joan Rivers would like to wring the Rosie. The chief of E!'s fashion police bristles at Rosie O'Donnell's critique of Rivers' ''mean'' disposition and surgically enhanced features during the ex-hostess' stand-up gig at a Connecticut casino last month. ''She has perpetrated such a sham on the American public,'' Rivers rails. ''Rosie has done a great disservice to the gay community by not admitting she was gay until after she'd made all that money. Who cares about anyone who pretends they're straight, pretends they love Tom Cruise? She kept saying, 'I have a big announcement.' The big announcement I thought was going to be, 'Surprise, surprise: I'm straight!''' Rivers also couldn't resist a chance to dig at the erstwhile Queen of Nice's figure: ''You try to keep away from her because you're scared she'll sit on you.'' O'Donnell's response: ''Joan scares me.''