Canada Why

MTV has been mysteriously promoting ''The Real World Movie: The Lost Season'' (which airs Aug. 6 at 9 p.m.), and putting ''Real World'' fans in a conspiratorial tizzy. Could there really be a Vancouver season that was never shown? Is there a whiny (so-far-untelevised) septet of Canadian roomies somewhere out there, crying, ''We could be the next Puck, eh!''

But no, there was no actual Vancouver house. ''The Lost Season'' is actually a combination thriller/''Real World'' parody. It's a TV movie, and it's all fake.

The telepic starts just like every ''Real World'' season, with seven roomies arriving at their new loft and instantly establishing themselves as versions of the archetypes we've seen over and over again: the hot snotty woman, the brooding artist, the loud frat guy, the confrontational African-American woman, and the virgin, among others.

But later, when they are supposed to be heading to a challenge against seven ex-''Real World''ers (a stunt that allows cameos aplenty, including Seattle's David, Chicago's Aneesa, San Francisco's Rachel, and Hawaii's Amaya), they are kidnapped by a crazed ''Real World'' reject who locks them in his own version of a house, insisting they stop being themselves and start getting real... or he'll kill them.

This movie is produced by Bunim-Murray Productions, the creators of ''Real World,'' so while they would like to poke fun at their baby, they are obviously reticent to be too self-aware. While the main characters' personalities exist to mock the usual ''Real World'' stock stereotypes, by the end they start seriously blathering the same self-indulgent epipha-mes that 11 seasons' worth of roommates have spouted, dampening any satirical punch.

The seven real ''Real World'''ers pop up occasionally in silly improvised segments (pretending to be waiting for the missing Vancouver cast), and even they are forced to faux-fight with each other. But this could be the easiest acting challenge they'll ever face: pretending to be annoying.

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