THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF DISNEY ABC, 7-9 PM

Apparently, the Magic Kingdom isn't big enough to include Prince William. The biopic, featuring Band of Brothers' Jordan Frieda, was to open the season Sept. 29; instead, it'll air that night as a non-Disney movie. ''Anyone from 18 to 34 knows Prince William,'' says ABC movies and miniseries VP Quinn Taylor. ''If it's a woman or, frankly, a man, they probably had a crush on him when they were younger.'' Ooo-kay. Disney-approved titles include the Culkin-less Home Alone 4, Nancy Drew (Maggie Lawson plays the youth sleuth), a remake of The Music Man (with Matthew Broderick), and a sequel to John Travolta's 1996 Phenomenon. Better that than Battlefield Earth.

FUTURAMA FOX, 7-7:30 PM

Al Gore gets reanimated (the ex-veep's daughter Kristin writes for the show). ''The head of Al Gore, which is still floating in its jar, hosts the Kyoto global warming convention of 3003,'' says exec producer David X. Cohen, who reveals the problem's cause: ''It's brought about by robots belching.'' One bot, Bender, undergoes a sex-change operation to qualify as a fembot in the robot Olympics. Says Cohen, ''He has a romance as a female robot, which is disturbing, but you're just going to have to deal with it.'' Fair enough. (Nov. 10)

THE SIMPSONS FOX, 8-8:30 PM

The guest-star-apalooza begins in the 14th-season premiere, when Homer goes to rock & roll fantasy camp and jams with Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Elvis Costello, Tom Petty, Brian Setzer, and Lenny Kravitz. Kelsey Grammer returns as Sideshow Bob, while Adam West and Burt Ward re-create their roles as Batman and Robin (Bart and Milhouse get in trouble for emulating an old episode). Also 'tooning up will be Little Richard (who presides over the engagement of Principal Skinner and Mrs. Krabappel), blink-182 (in the show's 300th episode, slated for February sweeps), and...Laverne & Shirley's David L. Lander? Exec producer Al Jean elaborates: ''The Simpsons go on a reality show where they have to live in a house with the rules of 1895.... The ratings start to slip, so then they throw Squiggy into the house.'' Maybe UPN's reality failure Under One Roof should've tried that. (Nov. 10)

CHARMED THE WB, 8-9 PM

The season starts with a Splash as Phoebe (Alyssa Milano) turns into a mermaid. ''It's gonna require a lot of help from her sisters to save her from the sea,'' says exec producer Brad Kern, who notes, ''Alyssa Milano with very few scales on her will look great.'' She'll later turn into Cinderella in a fairy-tale-themed episode. Pregnant sib Piper (Holly Marie Combs) finds out her baby has magic powers, while another recent addition to the family, Paige (Rose McGowan), quits her job to practice Wicca full-time. ''To discover how to be a superwitch, she's gonna have to play with the powers,'' says Kern. ''Sometimes they're gonna bite her in the ass.'' Hey, it can't be any scarier than dating Marilyn Manson. (Sept. 22)

BECKER CBS, 8:30-9 PM

With Terry Farrell's diner owner Reggie checking out, Nancy Travis (Almost Perfect) moves in as Chris, the neighbor who drove Becker (Ted Danson) crazy -- in more ways than one -- during a three-episode arc last season. ''We've never really seen John Becker pursue anyone,'' creator Dave Hackel says. ''We know he'll be horrible at it. We look forward to a lot of dysfunctional romance.'' Hackel avoided giving Danson's character a love interest for the sitcom's first four seasons to distinguish him from Cheers' famously skirt-chasing Sam Malone. ''If Becker would have pursued Reggie romantically, every critic in the country would have said, 'Well, we saw that coming,''' Hackel adds. ''Hopefully, they won't have seen this coming.'' Well, at least not until now. (Oct. 6)

LAW & ORDER: CRIMINAL INTENT NBC, 9-10 PM

We're not big on guest stars,'' says exec producer Rene Balcer, presumably dissing sister show Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. ''We don't want to be the Love Boat of crime dramas.'' Okay, there is one notable guest: The Wonder Years' Olivia d'Abo as a Professor Moriarty-like nemesis for the Sherlock Holmesian Detective Goren (Vincent D'Onofrio) and his Dr. Watsonian comrade, Detective Eames (Kathryn Erbe). Does it irk Balcer that the time-slot-winning CI gets less press than ABC rival Alias? ''Not really, because I don't think Alias will be around past this season,'' he says. ''We're not about to put our people in rubber dresses and red wigs.'' Nope, he doesn't sound irked at all. (Sept. 29)

MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE FOX, 9-9:30 PM

According to Frankie Muniz, the pregnancy of Jane Kaczmarek will be written into the show, and there's a big change for Malcolm, too. ''We wanted to give the kid a break from all the misery, so we're sending him to high school, where everyone is sweet and kind,'' creator Linwood Boomer jokes. Meanwhile, big brother Francis (Christopher Masterson) leaves Alaska and ends up on a Southwestern dude ranch run by a clueless German couple (Kenneth Mars and Megan Fay). Fierce creatures populate the season opener, when ''in an effort to do quieter, more introspective episodes,'' says Boom-er, ''the boys are almost eaten by tigers.'' Along the same lines, Hal (Bryan Cranston) realizes a lifelong dream by renting a steamroller and squashing objects. ''We're taking pitches, if there's anything you'd like to see crushed,'' says Boomer. ''So far, the leading thing is Tickle Me Elmo.'' (Nov. 3)

ANGEL THE WB, 9-10 PM

What's the matter with kids today? In last spring's cliff-hanger, Angel (David Boreanaz) was locked in a metal box and dropped to the bottom of the ocean for eternity by his 16-year-old son, Connor (Another Day in Paradise's Vincent Kartheiser, who's now a regular). That's enough to tee off anybody, which may explain the return of our hero's dark alter ego, Angelus, who'll pursue the series' mysterious new superbaddie. ''We need Angelus the same way that The Silence of the Lambs needed Hannibal Lecter to catch Buffalo Bill,'' says exec producer Jeffrey Bell. ''You need a mind like that to catch a creature so diabolically clever and evil.'' Villainous slayer Faith (Eliza Dushku) reappears for a multi-episode arc during February sweeps. And there's a new girl in town, Gwen (Alexa Davalos), ''a cat burglar specializing in stealing pararanormal/magical/mystical things,'' says Bell. ''She's been struck by lightning 14 times. There are benefits and certainly negative side effects.'' Don't try this at home, kids. (Oct. 6)

THE PRACTICE ABC, 10-11 PM

With Lindsay (Kelli Wil-liams) having been convicted of murder in last season's finale, husband Bobby (Dylan McDermott) is left to care for their 1-year-old kid. ''Lindsay's fate is not going to be resolved for a while,'' says exec producer Robert Breech. ''Their marriage is going to be challenged through this ordeal.'' Jessica Capshaw joins the firm as fresh-out-of-law-school Jamie Stringer, whose first case involves a client who ''has problems keeping all his clothes on,'' says Breech. The actress' connections (she's Steven Spielberg's stepdaughter) played no part in her casting: ''She won it fair and square,'' says Breech. Whether the same can be said of her role in Minority Report is up for debate. (Sept. 29)


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