THE PIANO TUNER (2002)

Mason's heavily promoted debut novel is a Muzak version of Heart of Darkness, one in which ivory tickling stands in for ivory trading. In 1886, piano tuner Edgar Drake rises to Her Majesty's call by journeying from London (which the author is at pains to paint as very, very foggy) to Upper Burma (very, very exotic). Surg. Maj. Anthony Carroll needs some work done on the Erard grand he used to subdue the natives. Despite the warnings about Carroll's persuasiveness (''His ideas,'' a colonel says, ''can be...seductive.''), Drake is pleased to discover a Bach-loving buddy in the jungle. Unfortunately, the book is a vessel for ponderous lessons in history, medicine, and, of course, piano tuning. Sample dialogue: ''This is a tuning hammer, these narrow-blade screwdrivers are for general use, this special thin screwdriver and a drop-screw regulator are for the action.''