Oh, 'Brother'

Image credit: Danielle and Lisa: Tony Esparza/CBS

WATCH YOUR BACK Danielle congratulates Lisa

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She wuz robbed!

Okay, Danielle may have been a major-league backstabber, overplayed the angles at times, and gone a little overboard with the whole Roddy-is-the-devil thing, but at least the woman played the game! At least she made the show interesting to watch.

Lisa? BO-RING! What in 12 weeks did she contribute to the show? What did we learn about her, other than the fact that she thinks it's really cool when guys stop to say ''hi'' while making out with her on national television? Now some may say she ''played under the radar,'' but that's a bunch of baloney. Homegirl just lucked out. The one smart thing she did was not voting her boyfriend Eric back in the house. I'll give her that. But otherwise, this was all Danielle's show.

Well, Danielle and Jason's. Anyone who's read this column before (Hello, anyone? Bueller? Anyone?) knows I was pulling for the last American virgin for stabbing people with a smile, but once he was gone, you'd figure his partner in crime should at least get the dough. More like d'oh! That was almost a clean sweep we had there in the final tally, which had to be the most lopsided vote -- 9-1 -- in reality-TV history since Recruit Wolf got skunked in ''Boot Camp.''

Once again, the live portion of the broadcast was a well-oiled machine, assuming said machine is anything used from Radio Shack. I especially loved the part where the doorbell sound came on -- BEFORE JASON EVEN RANG THE DOORBELL!!! And then after they announced the winner, we were treated to some awesome instrumental music that sounded like Jan Hammer married to some warmed over Najee. Memo to dudes at CBS: Spend some of next year's prize money on a soundtrack.

Of course, this all wasn't nearly as entertaining as host Julie Chen playing word association with Lisa and Danielle by bringing up all the evicted housemates. (At least, I'm assuming it was entertaining. To tell the truth, I think I fell asleep somewhere in between ''teacher'' and ''angelic.'')

So another season of bitching and bikinis is behind us, and while it wasn't quite as entertaining as last year's edition with Will the Evil Doctor, it was still pretty damn good. It's just too bad that that lame-o Lisa had to walk away with the loot. I mean, look at the example it sets for all future ''Big Brother'' contestants. It basically says, be nice, boring, have no personality, and you can win it all. It might make for a good morality tale, but it doesn't make for good TV. After all, remember the first season of ''Big Brother''? No, didn't think so.