Star-Hazing

Ever have a desire to see kitschy famous folk undergo a battery of physical challenges while being harassed by unforgiving drill instructors? Your twisted wish is Fox's command: On Sept. 30, the network will present a two-hour special titled ''Celebrity Boot Camp.'' Before you enlist, check out the intel we gathered on these four promising recruits.

COOLIO
Age 39
Height 5'9''
Weight 160 lbs.
Push-up limit 65
Longest run Two miles
Worst pain ever endured Knee surgery. ''Every time I got up to go to the bathroom, the pain almost made me pee on myself.''
Could you take Gomer Pyle in a fight? ''Gomer Pyle -- I don't know, man. If he was Jim Nabors, I could take him.''
Do you love the smell of napalm in the morning? ''No, I love the smell of bacon in the morning.''
What's in your canteen? ''Kool-Aid. Cherry surprise.''

DAVID FAUSTINO
Age 28
Height 5'3''
Weight 135 lbs.
Push-up limit 100
Longest run 10 miles
Worst pain Kidney stones. ''It's pretty intense, especially when it wakes you up at 5 a.m.''
What's in your canteen? ''Gatorade. The clear orange one.''
Do you look good in fatigues? ''I think so. Because I shaved my head, my hat -- my Marine cover -- looks really good. My pants were a little baggy, though.''
Could we bounce a coin off your bed? ''No, mine's a f---ing mess.''

TIFFANY
Age 30
Height 5'6''
Weight 118 lbs.
Push-up limit 10
Longest run Two miles
Worst pain ''Childbirth and a broken heart.''
Love the smell of napalm? ''No, I love the smell of jasmine in the morning. I love the smell of lavender...''
What's in your canteen? ''Water. And on a good day, if I wasn't running a mile, I would have to say Southern Comfort.''
Bounce a coin off your bed? ''No, because I like fluffy. I like big down comforters, and the more pillows, the better.''

KATO KAELIN
Age 43
Height 5'10''
Weight 175 lbs.
Push-up limit 100
Longest run A marathon (four times)
Worst pain ''I was playing baseball, and I broke my arm in half on a curveball. Fractured my humerus bone. Nothing funny about it.''
Take Gomer in a fight? ''As long as he doesn't sing.''
Love the smell of napalm? ''I do. Hey, it smells like victory.''
Look good in fatigues? ''I look incredible. Actually, I was in the service for three years before this, but it was dry-cleaning service.''