Stupid Questions

Pass the Romano Cheese

Ray Romano answers six mammoth-size stupid questions as his mega-cool ''Ice Age'' comes out on DVD

Ray Romano, Everybody Loves Raymond | HALF BAKED Romano admits just how close his show resembles his life, right down to the cooking
Image credit: Ray Romano: Monty Brinton/CBS
HALF BAKED Romano admits just how close his show resembles his life, right down to the cooking

As Manfred the mammoth in the computer-animated ''Ice Age'' (now on DVD and video), Ray Romano helps deliver a human baby back to his father. So we wondered how this paternal prehistoric marvel could handle another bundle of joy: a nicely thawed batch of stupid questions.

On ''Everybody Loves Raymond'' you play a guy named Ray with a wife, a daughter called Ally, and twin boys. In real life, your name is Ray, you have a wife, a daughter called Ally, and twin boys. A lot of similarities there. My question is, how is your real wife's cooking?
I could give you some bull about my real wife being a great cook in hopes of scoring some points, and who knows, maybe getting a little something in the bedroom tonight after she reads this. But look, I've got a top 10 show and I just bought her a 10,000-square-foot house, and she still won't have sex with me, so what good is this article gonna do? She can't cook, either.

You were one of the performers included in EW's 2002 Power List. So let's be honest -- it's all downhill after an honor like that, isn't it?
Yes, but on the way down, how about a cover story?

You are working a most excellent pompadour in ''Ice Age.'' Tell us, what kind of hair-care products is Manfred rocking?
Those are transplants.

When you think of other famous people named Ray, how would you say you measure up against Raymond J. Johnson Jr., the ''You can call me Ray, or you can call me Jay...'' guy?
I like that guy. I even had my own saying for a while, ''You can call me Ray, or you can smell what I just did by those curtains.'' It never caught on.

Hey, you play a sportswriter. Let m ask you something: How can weight lifting actually get away with using terms like ''snatch'' and ''clean and jerk''?
The same way reporters that interview me get away with terms like ''flat ass'' and ''big nose.''

Finally, we hear you now may end up starring in a movie with Dustin Hoffman. You're 6 foot 4. He's 5 foot 6. What is this, ''My Giant 2''?
If they let me act in a movie with Dustin Hoffman, I think our height might not be the only difference you'll notice.

Originally posted Nov 25, 2002 Published in issue #684 Nov 29, 2002 Order article reprints
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