Give 'Em Mel

You wanted Peter Sellers, but it didn't pan out.
Then God gave me Gene Wilder. I saw Gene in a play with Anne Bancroft called ''Mother Courage,'' directed by Jerry Robbins. And he was getting laughs. He'd tell me, ''I don't understand, I'm trying to be so spiritual.'' And I'd laugh in his face.

So why didn't you record a commentary track for the DVD?
I don't like the B track on DVDs where the director gossips about how the film was made and how in this one Teri Garr had to pee so badly you could see her legs cross. If you're proud of your movie, it's oil and water. The Russians say, if you chase two rabbits, you will catch neither. I thought an interview would be a much better contribution.

In that interview, you mention Dustin Hoffman was originally cast as Nazi playwright Franz Liebkin -- until he landed ''The Graduate.''
He lived down the block, and he woke me up with pebbles on my window. I was like, Who am I, Roxanne? And he yelled, I can't do your movie! I'm going to Hollywood to audition for Mike Nichols! And I said, ''Oh, you'll do my movie. They'll take one look at you and see the mutt I see.'' And then he called from California and said, ''I got the part!'' And I said, ''You s---head.'' But we got very lucky because Kenny Mars walked in, and he was Liebkin on the hoof. We couldn't have done better than that wacko.

What was the toughest cut you had to make for the Broadway adaptation?
Losing LSD [the flower child cast as Hitler, played in the movie by Dick Shawn]. My favorite character in the whole f---in' movie. He didn't work on the stage. Then I hit upon having Liebkin play Hitler, because he's already German. And then he breaks his leg and [flamboyant director] Roger has to go on. And there it was, on a silver platter: A gay Hitler! Let us thank God.

What's next for the stage show?
We are going to play Germany, I think in 2004. And I don't mind being there for the rehearsals, but I'm not going to be there for the opening. There's going to be some politically correct guy -- okay, some politically correct Nazi -- with a sniper's rifle, saying we've dishonored the beloved name of the Fuhrer. Not gonna chance it.