Coppin' a Phil

Phil Collins has been out testifying about his new album, titled, well, ''Testify.'' But can the ex-Genesis singer-drummer and solo sensation apply his invisible touch to our stupid questions?

1. You're an attractive man and all, but ever thought about putting out an album that doesn't feature a close-up of your face?
The shot on the first album was really autobiographical, and then it seemed logical to do the next in color. Now you're into a theme, so it's difficult to jump out of it. You see someone getting older, wiser, balder.

2. You played in the U.S. and the U.K. on the same day for 1985's Live Aid. Who were you more honored to share a stage with: Ultravox, Nik Kershaw, and Howard Jones, or Billy Ocean, Rick Springfield, and the Hooters?
Were they all on those bills? I would say the first three, mainly because of Howard Jones. I don't really have much in common with the others.

3. Did they pay you to play alongside half-naked models at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, or did you pay them?
It's embarrassing because my wife knows what I'm like. Underwear like that is dangerous stuff.

4. What are the duties of a lieutenant of the Royal Victorian Order?
You know, I don't know. When I got it [in '94], they sent me some stuff, which I never read in depth, because I never thought I'd be asked about it.

5. I saw on a misheard-lyrics site where some guy thought the words to ''Against All Odds'' were '''Cause we shared the laughter and the pain, and even Cheryl Tiegs.'' Be honest -- aren't his lyrics better?
I'm sure that's a better idea. I don't know who Cheryl Tiegs is, but that's even more exciting. I can make up my own Cheryl Tiegs.

6. Sorry, but what the hell is a ''Sussudio''?
It's a horse. My daughter had a horse, and she called it Sussudio, and it seemed okay as a name, like Kylie, Ringo, or Elvis.

7. Let's talk about your new CD. In ''Don't Get Me Started,'' you take on the media, particularly magazines. So, you ready for me to kick your Grammy-winning ass or what?
Come on, baby! It's kind of the world-is-owned-by-two-corporations idea. People see a newspaper with a different title and think it must be owned by someone else, when it's all owned by Rupert Murdoch.

8. As an AOL Time Warner employee, I wouldn't know anything about that. But let me ask you, how much of your success do you owe to Crockett and Tubbs?
Quite a lot. ''In the Air Tonight'' became synonymous with ''Miami Vice.'' Then they used my other music and asked me to do a cameo.

9. Do you and Jan Hammer keep in touch?
I wish. He's an incredible musician, and everybody copied what he did on ''Miami Vice.''

10. If I changed my name to Billy, does that mean I could pretty much call you up and bug you at all hours of the night?
Yeah, anytime you want -- if you can find me.