March 24 A BERRY GOOD NIGHT Halle Berry becomes the first African American to win a Best Actress Oscar. In an emotional acceptance speech, the Monster's Ball actress thanks Angela Bassett, Oprah Winfrey, and her lawyer. Oddly, she neglects to mention everyone who ignored Swordfish.

March 27 WHEN FARM ANIMALS ATTACK Country crooner Lyle Lovett suffers a broken leg when he is trampled by a bull at his uncle's farm. The following month, pop folkie Jewel is thrown from a horse at her boyfriend's Texas homestead, breaking her collarbone and a rib.

April 4 NEXT OF 'KIN Even though the release of Attack of the Clones is more than a month away, Star Wars fans begin lining up at L.A.'s Grauman's Chinese Theatre. While waiting, the Anakin-addled aficionados pay homage to the film by talking only in stiff, emotionless dialogue.

April 17 A DUTIFUL MIND Russell Crowe pledges to donate his brain to Sydney University, where it's rumored it will be preserved forever in a vat of Foster's.

May 7 THE LAST GIRL SCOUT Call it Operation Enduring Munchies: Bruce Willis sends 12,000 boxes of Girl Scout cookies to U.S. troops in Afghanistan.

May 8 IS THIS JUST FANTASY? In a poll sponsored by Guinness World Records, Queen's ''Bohemian Rhapsody'' is named Britain's favorite pop single of all time. Not bad for an overblown rock aria about a murderous mama's boy.

May 9 HOW THE WEST END WAS WON Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow make their London stage debuts, as previews begin for Up for Grabs and Proof. While Gwyneth winneth over the critics, the British press is hardly swept away by the Material Girl's performance.

May 21 A STAND-UP GUY Stunt magician David Blaine begins his lonely stint atop an 80-foot pillar in Manhattan, where he will stand for the next 34 hours and 23 minutes. We would've been more impressed if he'd sat through all 98 minutes of Rollerball.

May 24 CROSS TO BARE The Vatican charity agency Fides condemns such celebrities as Jennifer Aniston and Catherine Zeta-Jones for wearing crucifixes as jewelry. They also lambaste the pair for depleting Hollywood's precious hunk supply.

May 31 BASS GETS A PASS 'N Sync's Lance Bass says he has won the preliminary go-ahead from doctors to become the first pop star in space. No one has the heart to tell him that the docs thought he'd be staying up there.

June 12 RAVING PRIVATE RYAN At 45, Tom Hanks is the youngest person to receive the lifetime achievement award from the American Film Institute. Steven Spielberg, Meg Ryan, and one-time canine costar Hooch (via satellite) are among the celebrity well-wishers.

June 14 IRISH EYES ARE REALLY SMILING A hit album, a sold-out concert tour, and a memorable Super Bowl appearance: U2 have been busy. All that's left for them to do is to count the $61.9 million they reportedly earned in 2001. We'd call that a beautiful payday.

June 19 MOVIN' IN Billy Joel checks himself into Silver Hill Hospital in New Canaan, Conn. According to his label, the Piano Man entered the substance abuse facility to deal with a ''personal problem.''