Sound Bites

''Sugar Pie, stop smelling my belly button!''
ANNA NICOLE SMITH to her pooch on Smith's reality TV series

''I want to run through the halls of my high school/I want to scream at the top of my lungs/I just found out there's no such thing as the real world/Just a lie we've got to rise above.''
From JOHN MAYER's ''No Such Thing''

''This crop stuff is just about a bunch of nerds who never had a girlfriend.... They're, like, 30 now. They make up secret codes and analyze Greek mythology and make secret societies where other guys who never had girlfriends can join in. They do stupid crap like this to feel special. It's a scam. Nerds were doin' it 25 years ago and new nerds are doing it again.''
MERRILL (Joaquin Phoenix) to his frightened niece and nephew in ''Signs''

''Why can't they get girlfriends?''
NIECE BO (Abigail Breslin) back to her uncle Merrill

''Are you my Caucasian?''
LARRY DAVID to rapper Krazee-Eyez Killa (Chris Williams) on ''Curb Your Enthusiasm''

''Your blue ox came home?''
FRANK (Peter Boyle), after Paul Bunyanesque son Robert (Brad Garrett) said he had good news, on ''Everybody Loves Raymond''

''It's the first marriage for him, the third for her, and the last for neither.''
Weekend Update's TINA FEY, reporting the engagement of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, on ''SNL''

''Apparently, she had him at Jell-O.''
KAREN (Megan Mullally) telling Jack (Sean Hayes) about her husband's tryst with a cafeteria worker on ''Will & Grace''

''J. Lo's new song 'Jenny From the Block' is all about Lopez's roots, about how she's still a neighborhood gal at heart. But folks from that street in New York, the Bronx section, sound more likely to give her a curb job than a bl-- job -- oh, um, or a block party.... Sorry about that slipup. I have no idea how that happened, but it won't happen again.''
Fox News anchor SHEPARD SMITH

''Even if he didn't make penisary contact with her Volvo?''
TONY (James Gandolfini) to Dr. Melfi (Lorraine Bracco), talking about Ralph's kinky sex life on ''The Sopranos''

''If you're tired, you take a nap-a, you don't move to Napa.''
CARRIE (Sarah Jessica Parker) to Big (Chris Noth) after he professed his weariness of the Big Apple and his decision to open a vineyard

''The Yankees have decided to get rid of outfielder Ruben Rivera after he was caught stealing a bat and glove from Derek Jeter's locker. As a result, the Yankees traded Rivera to the Dodgers for Winona Ryder.''
CONAN O'BRIEN on ''Late Night''

''Fame is a fickle friend, Harry. Celebrity is as celebrity does. Remember that.''
New Hogwarts teacher GILDEROY LOCKHART (Kenneth Branagh) to the boy wizard in ''Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets''

''You felt her...bosom?!''
BARBARA WALTERS, after Sharon Osbourne revealed that she'd grabbed Camilla Parker Bowles' ''tits'' on ''20/20''

''Good things come to obsessive-compulsives who fixate.''
KIERAN CULKIN, as an enlightened misfit in ''Igby Goes Down''