Sound Bites

SOUND BITES

''Liza Minnelli and her husband are suing VH1 for $23 million for a breach of contract. When asked about it, Liza said, 'When two parties enter a contract, they're supposed to stay together and pretend that one of them isn't gay.''' CONAN O'BRIEN on Late Night

''More trouble for Trent Lott: He can't decide if he should hate Michael Jackson.'' CRAIG KILBORN on The Late Late Show

''Things are looking up for Al Gore. Today CBS offered to make him their new fat weatherman.'' DAVID LETTERMAN on Late Show

''Kudos to Caesar Barber for embodying so many of our country's ideals. He's overweight, ill-informed, and litigious. That's an American hat trick.'' lewis black, discussing a man who's suing fast-food restaurants for making him fat, on The Daily Show

''To the three of you that are left, break a leg -- and I mean it.'' HELEN, after getting voted out on Survivor: Thailand

Originally posted Jan 10, 2003 Published in issue #690 Jan 10, 2003 Order article reprints