How to Get Sting to Wear a Dress

For marquee value, few plays could match last year's London production of ''The Play What I Wrote,'' which included performances by Sting, Ralph Fiennes, Ewan McGregor, Minnie Driver, Jerry Hall, Roger Moore, Kylie Minogue, and Kenneth Branagh. Okay, they didn't appear all at the same time: They, and a host of others, took turns filling the role of ''surprise celebrity guest.'' The hit, directed by Branagh, and coming to Broadway, proved an unexpected bold-face name magnet.

The play is sufficiently meta to give Charlie Kaufman a migraine: It stars the comedy duo of Sean Foley and Hamish McColl as comedy duo Sean Foley and Hamish McColl, who are on the verge of breaking up so McColl can pursue his playwriting career. In the second act, a celebrity wanders on stage and is dragooned into performing McColl's horrible opus ''A Tight Squeeze for the Scarlet Pimple.'' Despite that title, stars have lined up to take part; Fiennes did the play 11 times.

The names of the celebrity guests for the New York run are, not surprisingly, being kept secret, although Stateside producer Mike Nichols should net some big guns. It doesn't hurt, either, that the play's stars are unfailingly generous toward their guests: Foley reels off a list of superlatives. Sting? ''Fantastic.'' Roger Moore? ''Amazing.'' Minnie Driver? ''Brilliant.'' He pauses. ''I'm sorry. The next one I'll say was awful.'' Okay, then. Kenneth Branagh? ''Rubbish. That man, before he directed this, what had he done? We picked him up out of the gutter.'' (Previews begin March 7.)