''We're younger and we're cuter. We've got better bodies, and for some reason, that's, like, a huge issue with older people.'' HEIDI, explaining why she bathed with Jenna and Shawna, on Survivor: The Amazon
''Scientists announced today they are developing a pill that can prevent premature ejaculation. The scientists then apologized and said the announcement was supposed to be made next week.'' CONAN O'BRIEN on Late Night
''Isn't that amazing? I didn't even get to marry the girl, and she still took half of everything.'' EVAN MARRIOTT, complaining about splitting his Joe Millionaire winnings with Zora, on Jimmy Kimmel Live
''A female Australian politician was kicked out of Parliament for breast-feeding her 11-day-old baby during a debate. By the way, Australia's parliament can now be seen on C-Span After Hours.'' CRAIG KILBORN on The Late Late Show
