''A few weeks ago, Colin Powell laid out the Bush administration's case for war to the world. This weekend, the world gave its answer. That answer was, 'Are you f -- -ing kidding me?''' JON STEWART on The Daily Show
''The 'mind-blowing' conclusion of Joe Millionaire that Fox promised turned out to be a monetary prize. This was not nearly as exciting as the rumored surprise twist: that Evan Marriott is really a shaved ape.'' TINA FEY on SNL
''American troops are headed to the Philippines to disrupt a Muslim rebel group and get them back to what they should be doing -- making Nikes for Americans.'' BILL MAHER on HBO's Real Time
''There's a rumor that the Spice Girls are thinking of getting back together. As a result, the orange alert has been raised to red.'' CONAN O'BRIEN on Late Night
