The USS Constellation (CV-64), currently serving in the Persian Gulf, is not only one of America's greatest heroes, but it is also the biggest star in the history of Paramount Pictures' fleet of films. Featured in the studio's action-adventure ''The Core,'' Connie, as the aircraft carrier's crew affectionately calls her, weighs in at 88,000 tons and is 17 stories from keel to mast. -- Paramount Pictures press release
The studio's publicist has set down strict rules. I am to be granted 15 minutes with the USS Constellation -- no more, possibly less. I am to ask the steel-girded star only about ''The Core'' and the experience of working on the film. Questions about rehab, about on-set spats, about Colin Farrell, will not be entertained, and will result in the curtailing of my 15-minute window. After much back-and-forth, the U.S.S. Constellation's publicists and I agree on a time and a place: The lounge at the Beverly Hills Four Seasons, for tea. I consider pointing out that 15 minutes is scarcely time to drink a cup of tea, but think better of it.
The USS Constellation -- or ''Connie,'' as she likes to be called, although not by me -- arrives at 2:45 p.m. on the dot, with the military precision for which she is famed. All heads in the lounge swivel, as one might expect when an 88,000-ton aircraft carrier arrives for tea, knocking over Drew Barrymore, two couches away. ''I'm really sorry about the runaround my people gave you,'' the USS Constellation begins. ''I have to have a talk with them.''
I am instantly charmed, almost enough to forget the rumors I've heard: about the on-set temper tantrums, the demand to be filmed only from the left, the slap-fight with Cameron Diaz backstage at the SAG Awards. I even manage to put aside the tabloid rumors that, in the words of one talent manager, ''She makes Sean Young look like Mother [expletive deleted] Teresa.''
In conversation, the USS Constellation is engaging on the subject of her film debut (''It's a cameo, really,'' she says modestly), and her costars Hilary Swank (''sooo sweet and giving''), Stanley Tucci (''a charmer'') and Aaron Eckhart (''very complex, and committed to his craft''). That's not to say, however, that she's all sweetness and light. When I ask if she was stung by her reviews -- I note that Richard Roeper commented that ''The ship has only one facial expression'' -- she fires back, ''Last I checked, that's one more than Vin Diesel has.'' I consider pressing this point -- they have, after all, been linked in the gossip columns -- but, mindful of the terms of the interview, decide to let it pass.
The USS Constellation quickly changes the subject anyway, moving on to the new project she's developing through her production company at Paramount, in which she will play the Lusitania. ''I know, I know,'' she says. ''I'm an aircraft carrier, she was a steamship. I'm working with a trainer. My agent says the script is just one Oscar clip after another.''
Clearly, the USS Constellation is in it for the long haul. ''I learned my lesson from 'Red October' and 'U-571,''' she says. ''I didn't want my first movie to be all about me. That's the quickest route to being typecast. I figure I'll start with small roles in other people's movies. There'll be time enough for me to be the star.''
She glances at the clock. ''Your 15 minutes are up.'' And with that, she executes a flawless 180-degree turn and steams out of the hotel -- very nearly drowning Christina Ricci in her wake -- leaving me with her half-finished cup of tea and the check.
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