SOUND BITES
''Hillary Clinton has finished writing her book, where she says her marriage has never been stronger. And Bill Clinton has just finished writing his book, Chicks I Nailed While Hillary Was Writing Her Book.'' CRAIG KILBORN on The Late Late Show
''I love Paula Abdul. And I love that we live in a world that would give a Paula Abdul a second chance.'' Will (ERIC McCORMACK), high on painkillers, on Will & Grace
''Okay, I'm the Skipper.'' Doug (KEVIN JAMES), after Carrie (LEAH REMINI) questioned his likening himself to the Professor on Gilligan's Island, on The King of Queens
''Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas had a baby girl. Zeta-Jones said, 'If she's anything like me, right now her future husband is in his mid-40s.''' CONAN O'BRIEN on Late Night
''China...can't contain SARS. No surprise. They can't contain the lobster sauce in carryout cartons.'' DAVID LETTERMAN on Late Show
