Sound Bites

Sound Bites

SOUND BITES

''Hillary Clinton has finished writing her book, where she says her marriage has never been stronger. And Bill Clinton has just finished writing his book, Chicks I Nailed While Hillary Was Writing Her Book.'' CRAIG KILBORN on The Late Late Show

''I love Paula Abdul. And I love that we live in a world that would give a Paula Abdul a second chance.'' Will (ERIC McCORMACK), high on painkillers, on Will & Grace

''Okay, I'm the Skipper.'' Doug (KEVIN JAMES), after Carrie (LEAH REMINI) questioned his likening himself to the Professor on Gilligan's Island, on The King of Queens

''Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas had a baby girl. Zeta-Jones said, 'If she's anything like me, right now her future husband is in his mid-40s.''' CONAN O'BRIEN on Late Night

''China...can't contain SARS. No surprise. They can't contain the lobster sauce in carryout cartons.'' DAVID LETTERMAN on Late Show

Originally posted May 09, 2003 Published in issue #709 May 09, 2003 Order article reprints