''Spike Lee is suing Spike TV, claiming the network has ripped off his name and personality. I don't get it -- it's not like it's being called Hasn't Made a Good Movie Since Do the Right Thing TV.'' CRAIG KILBORN ON THE LATE LATE SHOW

''Maybe now we can lower the nation's terror alert to periwinkle.'' JON STEWART, AFTER MARTHA STEWART WAS INDICTED FOR SECURITIES FRAUD AND OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE, ON THE DAILY SHOW

''The best thing that could happen would be...30 years from now, I'm with my granddaughter, and she says to me, 'Hey, Granddad, how'd you meet Grandma?' And I'd say, 'Well, I met this person from NBC, and they took me to this house, and then I just got lucky.''' ICKY BACHELOR ROB ON FOR LOVE OR MONEY

''George Bush left the G-8 convention, and he's in Egypt right now. He's very excited, and he said he always wanted to see where they taped The $20,000 Pyramid.'' DAVID LETTERMAN ON LATE SHOW


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