Television

Sound Bites

''It's like a woman's orgasm -- they bitch about it, they're hard to come by, and when they finally get it, they're good for about a week.'' THE AMAZING RACE'S JON ON FIANCEE KELLY'S MOODS

''Yesterday, the World Health Organization said the spread of SARS has been stopped dead in its tracks. That means the biggest health threat in Toronto is, once again, acute boredom.'' CONAN O'BRIEN ON LATE NIGHT

''He's a white guy trapped inside the body of a white guy.'' JIMMY KIMMEL, DISSING FAME RAPPER JUSTIN JACOBY, ON JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE

''If you want to see me in Charlie's Angels 2 this weekend, I'll be catching the 4:15 show at the Galleria.'' TOM GREEN ON THE NEW TOM GREEN SHOW

''I wouldn't feel comfortable in the same bed with Dave. He doesn't take care of his feet.'' CHARLA, RUMINATING ON WHICH GUY TO ROOM WITH, ON PARADISE HOTEL

Originally posted Jul 11, 2003 Published in issue #718 Jul 11, 2003 Order article reprints