''Here's how you can tell it's summertime: Earlier today, Ashton Kutcher was selling lemonade outside of Demi Moore's house.'' DAVID LETTERMAN ON LATE SHOW
''Joe Millionaire and Simon Cowell are both writing books about their lives. Wow, this blows the race for the Pulitzer wide open.'' CRAIG KILBORN ON THE LATE LATE SHOW
''Jennifer Lopez was unhappy with the way she looked on her latest movie poster, so she insisted that her rear end be airbrushed. Not surprisingly, the guy in charge of airbrushing is being treated for exhaustion.'' CONAN O'BRIEN ON LATE NIGHT
''I get along very well with my exes, so America would have gotten to see me have sex.'' FORMER BIG BROTHER 3 CONTESTANT MARCELLAS, DISCUSSING THE ''EX FACTOR'' TWIST ON BIG BROTHER 4
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