TV Article

The Lost Episode

Highlights from ''Queer Eye: Donald Rumsfeld'' -- As expected, the Defense Secretary doesn't cotton to the Fab 5's suggestions

Donald Rumsfeld, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy | ODD COUPLE Rumseld and the ''Queer Guy'''s
Image credit: Donald Rumsfeld: Eddie Adams/Corbis Outline
ODD COUPLE Rumseld and the ''Queer Guy'''s

Highlights from ''Queer Eye: Donald Rumsfeld''

– ''You try and tuck my shirt in for me one more time, young man, and you're pulling back a stump.''

– ''I don't know what 'trompe l'oeil' means, but it sounds French, and I'll be damned if I let you do anything French to my wet bar, mister.''

– ''No, I don't think it looks better slightly tousled.''

– ''Well, there are navy suits and gray suits. If there's a color somewhere between navy and gray, I'm willing to consider it, but beyond that, you have no authorization.''

– ''I don't care whether Mrs. Rumsfeld will think I'm 'scrumplicious' in them -- if they can't be worn with wing tips, I'm not interested. Also, they make my ass look fat.''

– ''Listen, four-eyes, I don't care for this 'just have fun' approach of yours. If you're going to garnish something, you can't just do it willy-nilly. You put the currant in the exact center of it, or you don't put a currant on it at all. That's the problem with your generation: no discipline.''

– ''How 'bout this: I don't tell you how to button a shirt all the way up, and you don't tell me how to shave. Is that a deal?''

– ''Send in the dogs.''

Originally posted Aug 19, 2003 Published in issue #724-725 Aug 22, 2003 Order article reprints
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