''I went to see Gigli last night, and here is the weird thing.... I left early and by the time I got home, it was already on cable.'' DAVID LETTERMAN ON LATE SHOW
''Getting two tickets to an execution is like getting two tickets to NASCAR -- except you know Jeff Gordon's going to die.'' DEPUTY TRAVIS JUNIOR (ROBERT BEN GARANT) ON RENO 911!
''Women with candles have replaced women with cats as the new sad thing.'' SAMANTHA (KIM CATTRALL) ON SEX AND THE CITY