''Is this chicken what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says chicken by the sea.'' JESSICA SIMPSON, TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THE ORIGINS OF TUNA FISH ON NEWLYWEDS: NICK & JESSICA
''They were probably not even salty, because they probably come from some little tube attached from her eye that she remote-controls with her index finger.'' JUN, ANALYZING HOUSEMATE ALISON'S CROCODILE TEARS, ON BIG BROTHER 4
''Well, there's a lot less time to get high.'' CHRIS ROCK, EXPLAINING HOW FATHERHOOD HAS CHANGED HIM, ON LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN
''Christina Aguilera and Justin Timberlake were forced to cancel a week of shows because during rehearsal, a giant scaffold collapsed. Neither singer was injured, but workers promise to try again next week.'' CONAN O'BRIEN ON LATE NIGHT
