Television

Sound Bites

''You know, I always wanted to be the father of a tiny, gay sailor.'' DR. COX (JOHN C. MCGINLEY), SEEING HIS INFANT SON IN A SAILOR SUIT, ON SCRUBS

''The owners of the Malibu estate where The Bachelor was filmed are suing the producers for damages. The legal brief is over 100 pages long, but it boils down to this: The house has a rash.'' CRAIG KILBORN ON THE LATE LATE SHOW

''Arnold Schwarzenegger apologized for groping several women's breasts. In a related story, Gary Coleman apologized for groping several women's ankles.'' CONAN O'BRIEN ON LATE NIGHT

''You called one of your teachers 'Mommy'? Why -- was she yelling?'' RAY (RAY ROMANO) TO MICHAEL (SULLIVAN SWEETEN) ON EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND

''I like you. Wanna make out?'' KAREN (MEGAN MULLALLY) TO LEO'S AND WILL'S EX, DIANE (MIRA SORVINO), ON WILL & GRACE

Originally posted Oct 17, 2003 Published in issue #733 Oct 17, 2003 Order article reprints
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