Television

Sound Bites

''You kept me on the phone for over an hour. I missed the beginning of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, and by the time I got to watch it, they were all gay.'' SOOKIE (MELISSA McCARTHY) TO MICHEL (YANIC TRUESDALE) ON GILMORE GIRLS

''Twenty-three is old. It's almost 25, which is almost mid-20s.'' NEWLYWEDS NUMEROLOGIST JESSICA SIMPSON

''It's not like van Gogh lost his paintbrush.'' RAY (RAY ROMANO), AFTER DEBRA (PATRICIA HEATON) COMPLAINED ABOUT HER BROKEN STOVE, ON EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND

''In California this week, grocery clerks went on strike. Which means, for the second time in less than two weeks, Gray Davis is out of a job.'' JIMMY FALLON ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

Originally posted Oct 31, 2003 Published in issue #735 Oct 31, 2003 Order article reprints