Television

Sound Bites

''Like I need this crap at my age. I've got Darth Vader money.'' JAMES EARL JONES, REACTING TO A DIRECTOR'S SUGGESTION THAT HE EMOTE MORE LIKE JACK (SEAN HAYES), ON WILL & GRACE

''The avocado tree from which 95 percent of all California avocados descended has died in La Habra Heights at the age of 76. It will be buried along with an extremely large bowl of chips.'' KEITH OLBERMANN ON MSNBC'S COUNTDOWN

''Is it okay that I still think it looks delicious?'' JOEY (MATT LEBLANC), ABOUT THE PENIS-SHAPED CAKE RACHEL (JENNIFER ANISTON) MISTAKENLY ORDERED, ON FRIENDS

''I thought I might be going because I was cursing, I was drinking vodka, and I didn't wear any underwear.'' TEREZA, AFTER NOT BEING OUSTED, ON JOE MILLIONAIRE

Originally posted Nov 07, 2003 Published in issue #736 Nov 07, 2003 Order article reprints