News + Notes

Silly Figures

What counts in Fox's comedy of heiresses, The Simple Life.

As rich girls Paris Hilton (above, left) and Nicole Richie learn the hard way that The Simple Life is a tough road to hoe, we tally their progress, episodes 1 through 3.

-- Cost of pre-farm Dior shopping spree $5,335 -- Number of awkward silences with host family 4 -- Times the girls sneak out 1 -- Number of chickens that need pluckin' 6 -- Times they whine ''Ewwwwww!'' 19 -- Times they shriek ''Oh, my God!'' 16 -- Times they wail ''I'm gonna die!'' 8 -- Money each earned before being fired from the dairy farm $42 -- Money each earned in one day of toil at burger joint $56 -- Outfit changes for Paris' pooch, Tinkerbell 5 -- Number of expletives bleeped 12 -- Times Paris' butt crack is blurred 4

Originally posted Dec 19, 2003 Published in issue #742 Dec 19, 2003 Order article reprints