''I thought I was a self-hating Jew, but it turns out I'm just a plain old anti-Semite.'' KRUSTY THE CLOWN, AFTER DISCOVERING THAT HE HASN'T HAD A BAR MITZVAH, ON THE SIMPSONS

''I don't think Ryan's love for Trista needs to be tested by a girl in a catsuit.'' GROOMSMAN PETE, AFTER SAVING RYAN FROM A STRIPPER, ON TRISTA & RYAN'S WEDDING

''Well, this is what Clay Aiken is gonna look like in 30 years.'' BARRY MANILOW, REFERRING TO HIMSELF, ON HIS LIVE BY REQUEST A&E CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

''It's a big deal -- a gay man breaking into the ranks of nursing. It's like a butch girl playing softball. You just don't see it every day.'' KAREN (MEGAN MULLALLY) TO JACK (SEAN HAYES) ON WILL & GRACE


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