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THE TOPS IN MOVIES, TV, DVD, MUSIC, BOOKS & STYLE

BEST LOONY GUEST STAR

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BEST LOONY GUEST STAR Liza Minnelli in Arrested Development

WORST LOONY GUEST STAR Sharon Stone in The Practice

MOST STYLE, LEAST SUBSTANCE Survivor's muscle-bound but physically useless quitter, Osten

CLEVEREST PLOT TWIST Sydney losing two years of her life on Alias

CHEESIEST PLOT TWIST Kim getting caught in an animal trap on 24

MERRIAM-WEBSTER AWARD FOR MOST CREATIVE DEFINITION OF CELEBRITY ABC's I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here! and Celebrity Mole

YOU ARE NOT Lorenzo Lamas, judge of Are You Hot?

BEST ROMANCE The Next Joe Millionaire's David Smith and his horse, Hurricane

WORST ROMANCE David Smith and Joe's sneering, greedy bachelorettes

BEST ARGUMENT FOR DISBANDING THE AMERICAN/BRITISH COALITION OF THE WILLING Coupling

THE ''HERE'S YOUR EMMY -- NOW GET THE HELL OUT'' PRIZE West Wing creator Aaron Sorkin and Bernie Mac creator Larry Wilmore, who were kicked off their award-winning shows

THE FAKE ONE IS BETTER The Real Roseanne Show

THE REAL ONE IS BETTER The Elizabeth Smart Story

THE COEN BROTHERS HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT AWARD The arrogantly inept Battle of Shaker Heights directors Kyle Rankin and Efram Potelle from HBO's Project Greenlight

BEST CAST WITH THE WORST SHOW The Brotherhood of Poland, New Hampshire

WORST CAST WITH THE BEST SHOW Average Joe

Originally posted Dec 26, 2003 Published in issue #743-744 Dec 26, 2003 Order article reprints