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Sound Bites

The Year's Most Quotable Quotes

''What is Wal-Mart? 'Cause, like, they sell wall stuff?'' PARIS HILTON (RIGHT, WITH NICOLE RICHIE) IN THE SIMPLE LIFE

''Welcome to the O.C., bitch. This is how it's done in Orange County.'' LUKE (CHRIS CARMACK) GREETING RYAN (BENJAMIN MCKENZIE) ON THE O.C.

''Piazza New York catcher/Are you straight or are you gay?'' BELLE & SEBASTIAN'S MUSICAL SALUTE TO UNMARRIED NEW YORK MET MIKE PIAZZA

''You got me straight trippin', boo!'' HOWIE (EUGENE LEVY) GOING GAGA FOR CHARLENE (QUEEN LATIFAH) IN BRINGING DOWN THE HOUSE

''I can't believe this. My uterus is an inhospitable environment? I've always tried so hard to be a good hostess!'' MANIC MONICA (COURTENEY COX ARQUETTE) AFTER VISITING A FERTILITY CLINIC ON FRIENDS

''You might as well know right off the bat, I had a vasectomy.'' HARVEY PEKAR (PAUL GIAMATTI) CHARMING JOYCE BRABNER (HOPE DAVIS) IN AMERICAN SPLENDOR

''I try to dance Britney Spears/I guess I'm gettin' on in years.'' RUFUS WAINWRIGHT'S ''VIBRATE''

''Shame on you, Mr. Bush! Shame on you!'' BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE DIRECTOR MICHAEL MOORE, ACCEPTING HIS OSCAR AT THE 2003 ACADEMY AWARDS

''Every single kid in that brochure was awkward and panicked. It looked like the Academy Awards audience during Michael Moore's speech.'' GILMORE GIRLS' LORELAI (LAUREN GRAHAM) LOOKING AT A COLLEGE PAMPHLET WITH DAUGHTER RORY (ALEXIS BLEDEL)

''I want to say to CBS: He's worth every nickel.'' GARRY SHANDLING, AFTER BRAD GARRETT KISSED HIM, ON THE EMMYS

''About that kiss thing, I was as disgusted as you were.'' HOST ELLEN DEGENERES -- ON THAT OTHER KISS (BRITNEY AND MADONNA'S) -- TO TALK-SHOW GUEST JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE

''If Britney looks like she's, you know, kissing me in an aggressive manner, it was a surprise to me.... If someone comes at you with their lips slightly parted, you have to kiss them.'' MADONNA ON THE OPRAH WINFREY SHOW

''What's your favorite, like, restaurant chain? I like the Olive Garden.'' AMBER, MAKING SMALL TALK WITH BACHELOR ANDREW

''I didn't have anything prepared because it's been, like, since the Pleistocene era that I won anything.'' GOLDEN GLOBE WINNER MERYL STREEP (ADAPTATION)

''Talk to the hand!'' ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER IN TERMINATOR 3

''Silly rabbit.'' ''Trix are for kids.'' O-REN ISHII (LUCY LIU) AND THE BRIDE (UMA THURMAN) BANTERING MID-BATTLE IN KILL BILL

''Let's see...Lorraine is from England, so if you really wanted to hurt her you could hold her down and make her watch the American version of anything British.'' WILL & GRACE'S JACK (SEAN HAYES) TO KAREN (MEGAN MULLALLY), CONSPIRING AGAINST KAREN'S RIVAL

''We're younger and we're cuter. We've got better bodies, and for some reason, that's, like, a huge issue with older people.'' HEIDI FROM SURVIVOR: THE AMAZON, ON TRIBEMATES SHAWNA AND JENNA

''I thought I might be going because I was cursing, I was drinking vodka, and I didn't wear any underwear.'' THE NEXT JOE MILLIONAIRE CONTESTANT TEREZA

Originally posted Dec 26, 2003 Published in issue #743-744 Dec 26, 2003 Order article reprints
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