TV

'Queer' Sighted

We spy with our little eye a bunch of Queer Eye knockoffs headed your way in 2004:

STRAIGHT EYE FOR THE QUEER GUY (Bravo) The team behind Queer Eye will produce this table-turning installment, in which five straight men tutor a gay guy in arenas like Power Tools 101 and Sports Event Etiquette.

STRAIGHT PLAN FOR THE GAY MAN (Comedy Central) In this three-episode lark the Flab 4 help gay men achieve their lifelong ''dreams'': Fashion salesman Jonathan becomes a meatpacker, yoga instructor Roger plays competitive basketball, and singer-dancer Stephen learns how to pick up the ladies. Um, why??? (Feb. 23)

PLAYING IT STRAIGHT (Fox) A woman must choose a suitor from a group of 14 men, but she quickly learns that some of them are gay (read: the hetero version of Boy Meets Boy). If she chooses a straight dude, they split $1 million. If she chooses a gay guy, she pockets nada. Either way, her dignity is likely to be gone by the time this reality gem wraps. (spring)

CELESTE IN THE CITY (ABC Family) This TV movie follows a frumpy college grad (Roswell's Majandra Delfino) who moves from Maine to NYC for a job as a newspaper fact-checker. It's not long before her faaaabulous gay cousin Dana (Buffy's Nicholas Brendon) and his group of luxuuuurious friends (including Deborah Gibson) Queer Eye the hell out of her. (March 14)

Originally posted Jan 23, 2004