Television

Sound Bites

TV's funniest quotes for the week of January 23/30 2004

''Within the first five minutes of meeting Ron Jeremy, I thought he was gonna be a total perv...and he turned out to be a total perv.'' REAL WORLD BABE TRISHELLE ON THE SURREAL LIFE

''The President has a new plan -- an exemption that would allow illegal immigrants to enter the country to work. They're planning a promotional campaign, and the slogan is 'Come to America: A Great Place to Clean.''' JIMMY KIMMEL ON JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE

''I said no white, no ivory, no nothing that says virgin. I have a child. The jig is up.'' MIRANDA (CYNTHIA NIXON), LOOKING FOR A WEDDING DRESS, ON SEX AND THE CITY

''You're a hot bitch.'' NICOLE RICHIE, BEFORE MAKING OUT WITH A SMITTEN LOCAL BOY, ON THE SIMPLE LIFE

Originally posted Jan 23, 2004 Published in issue #747-748 Jan 23, 2004 Order article reprints
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