The most famous film scribe of the '90s shovels mounds of Hollywood dirt to make this mountain of a memoir: Glenn Close and a ''Jagged Edge'' producer spent the shoot obsessing about her butt; Sharon Stone thanked him for writing ''Basic Instinct'' with a one-night stand (''doughy,'' he describes her body); Robert Evans sent ''Sliver'' script notes via special courier (a hooker pulled them out of...well, not her purse). But it's the personal revelations that make these 700-plus pages worth reading. Eszterhas admits he's been an alcoholic his entire adult life. He cops to inveterate cheating, at least before he met his current wife, and divulges that his Hungarian father had been a Nazi. He even provides a happy ending -- after surviving cancer, divorce, and Michael Ovitz, he renounces L.A. and moves to the heartland. If Eszterhas' life is anything like his scripts, expect shocking plot twists late in the third act.