What to Watch for week of FEBRUARY 9

'Everwood': That's not responsible babysitting!

MONDAY

9-10PM Everwood (The WB, TV-14-DS) Next from the cuddly family drama that brought us an 8-year-old hermaphrodite and a 10-year-old potty mouth: Jailbait Ephram loses his virginity to 20-year-old babysitter Madison (Sarah Lancaster, left, with Gregory Smith). ''I didn't want everyone holding off on sex until they're 50,'' exec producer Greg Berlanti says. This episode also finds Amy pondering sleeping with her drug-dealing beau, and Ephram's dad, Andy, propositioning his HIV-positive girlfriend. Laments Berlanti, ''We definitely get a bum rap as a soft show.'' -- Jennifer Armstrong

8-11PM The 128th Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show (USA) About 162 breeds compete for Best in Show. Mondays really are a bitch.

8:30-9PM Eve (UPN, TV-PG-DL) Nicole Richie plays Nick's old girlfriend.

9-10PM My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance (Fox, TV-14-DL) Randi meets Steve's big fat obnoxious family, who are really just a bunch of big fat obnoxious actors.

9:59-10:59PM Average Joe: Hawaii (NBC, TV-PG) Brooke Burns shows up and Larissa is all ''Who's the new skank ho on the beach?'' Okay, that's more thought bubble than direct quote.

10-11PM CSI: Miami (CBS, TV-14-V) Oooh, Florida, you think you're all badass with your alligators and forest fires and Jeb Bush? Well, for the record: The Everglades so wish they were the Rockies.