This just in: Pugnacious right-leaning pundit O'Reilly has published his surprisingly apolitical first novel, a flimsy, tin-eared, super-steamy, but oh-so-readable thriller about a series of macabre murders in the TV news industry. One reptilian correspondent (''his wire-like lips gave him a perpetually cruel expression'') is dispatched with a spoon driven up through the roof of his mouth into his brain. Ouch! As the bodies pile up, bosomy crime reporter Ashley Van Buren is hot on the trail of the killer -- and hot for Shannon Michaels, ex-newsman and chief suspect. But she's also intrigued by burly detective Tommy O'Malley, our plainspoken, man-of-the-people hero. Should readers waste their time on this nonsense? No, but those who do will wolf it down (promptly forgetting it all the next day). And that's the way it is.