Television

Sound Bites

''Yesterday the key witness in the Martha Stewart trial testified that Martha is nasty, rude, and arrogant. When he heard this, Martha's lawyer immediately jumped to his feet and shouted 'Duh!''' CONAN O'BRIEN ON LATE NIGHT

''It was a disappointing season for Lieberman, but on the plus side, his campaign was long, quiet, and depressing enough to qualify as a Jewish holiday.'' TINA FEY ON SNL

''Does his face have scars?'' JESSICA SIMPSON, SQUEAMISH ABOUT WATCHING NICK'S SCARFACE DVD, ON NEWLYWEDS

Originally posted Feb 20, 2004 Published in issue #752 Feb 20, 2004 Order article reprints