''The Apprentice''

Water Works

The Donald said things got too emotional -- But while Versacorp turned water into whine, Protege member Amy stands out as the favorite to win, says Karyn L. Barr

Donald Trump, Mark Burnett, ... | WE'RE FIRED UP Trump and show creator Mark Burnett
Image credit: The Apprentice: Eric Liebowitz
WE'RE FIRED UP Trump and show creator Mark Burnett

Things got too emotional, said the Donald

Despite the handful of episodes left, my verdict is in… Amy will win. Period. End of discussion. Case closed. So, you might as well stop wasting your precious time, Mr. Trump, and just go ahead and crown the blonde curlicue as the Queen of Trump TV!

Sure, it may be a bold move to declare this deliciously addictive contest over when there're still seven other Trumpettes vying for the apprenticeship. But hey, let's stop kidding ourselves. Nick's unrequited love is the only contestant who has the smarts, the composure, and the skills that it takes to win this whole shebang.

You see, unlike self-absorbed Omarosa, she doesn't stir up controversy by feigning headaches or by flapping her trap at inappropriate times. Unlike Ereka and Nick, she never stresses, never shows emotion, and never flails under pressure. And in case you missed it, unlike the rest of her loft-mates, Amy has completely avoided the boardroom.

Not that that little golden nugget of info really matters. Because even if Amy were on the losing side for once, I seriously doubt that any of her teammates would have strong enough reason to have her face the dreaded Donald. In fact, hey, while I'm at it, I am willing to place yet another bet -- that the Protégés would keep Amy around even she completely sucked at a task (ha, like that will ever happen!).

Why, you ask? Well, because of her wonderfully smooth patience when dealing with Omarosa. (Calm down, Omarosa fans! I will not get on my Big O-Needs-to-Go-Now soapbox. I'm sparing you all… well, for this week at least.)

When the Donald told the two corporations that they would be distributing a ''new, refreshing'' bottled water (''Trump Ice,'' natch), Protégé's project manager Heidi immediately decided that Amy should be the ''lucky'' one to work with Omarosa since she seems to be the only group member who can keep the headache-suffering hypochondriac in line.

And by ''in line'' I mean, Amy had no qualms giving Omarosa a swift kick under the table whenever O's water wheeling and dealing ways got a little -- or a lot -- out of hand. Don't get me wrong, I'm hardly one to condone violence, but Amy's forcefully effective footsy action was just pure genius!

But sniff... too bad the Am-ster couldn't cross party lines and give Versacorp a li'l kick in the tush. This week, the distribution task just wasn't VC's cup of, well, water. Despite claiming that ''it was showtime,'' copier boy Nick failed to demonstrate his oh-so-savvy selling skills when dealing with potential buyers. Uber-emotional Ereka, Versacorp's project manager, failed to make quick leadership decisions, proving that maybe she should just go back to her makeup marketing gig. And Katrina...wait, was Katrina even in this freakin' episode?

And so again, like most of the episodes lately, it was hardly a shocker that come boardroom time, the Versacorp-ians would be the ones to fear Trump's cobra-like hand gesture and two favorite words while Protégé's dream team, Heidi, Amy, and Troy, would celebrate yet another win by flying around Manhattan in a helicopter.

Fast-forward a commerical break to what Trump touts as his ''toughest decision yet'' (is it just me or does he say that every week?). Ereka gets the big buh-bye because the grand poobah and his cronies thought ''she let too much emotion into the boardroom'' by saving her friend Katrina from the chopping block and choosing Bill and Nick to join her in the boardroom. But in truth, even though watching puppy-eyed Nick pine after Amy makes for some quality TV, I could have cared less which of the three ended up hitting the streets. After all, it's one less player I have to worry about trumping my girl Amy.

Originally posted Feb 27, 2004
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