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MONDAY
MARCH 2210-10:30PM VH1's You Rock With... (VH1, TV-PG) Ever picture yourself on stage with Van Halen, trading fret-melting solos with Eddie while executing a spread-eagle jump over David Lee Roth? Yeaaaah -- not gonna happen. But watch someone else live the dream on this weeklong series (concluding March 26), in which talented nobodies audition to perform on stage with acts like matchbox twenty, Barenaked Ladies, and Poison. ''I'm into feel-good exploitative TV,'' says exec producer Kim Rosenfeld, ''and this is the epitome of it.'' So, does that mean winners score groupies after the big show? ''Ummm...no.'' -- Dan Snierson
8-10PM NTSB: The Crash of Flight 323 (ABC, TV-PG-V) I don't know, NTSB sorta sounds a little too much like NKOTB if you ask me. But does the National Transportation Safety Board have the right stuff when it investigates a downed plane in ABC's telepic?
8-8:30PM Yes, Dear (CBS, TV-PG) What's more improbable: a hipster like director Kevin Smith guest-starring on ''Yes, Dear'' or the fact that I've now written up this show three times in the past month? Call it a draw.
9:30-10PM Two and a Half Men (CBS, TV-PG-D) Guest star Teri Hatcher starts hitting on Alan, which would be swell if he didn't have to worry about measuring up to freakin' Superman.
10-10:30PM The Race From the White House 2004 (Comedy Central, TV-PG) This ''Daily Show'' election special is actually just a souped-up clip show. But a damn funny one.
