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EW contributor Jim Mullen insists he's a happily married man of 32 years. No telling what Mrs. Mullen thinks of the ''Hot Sheet'' writer's new parody book, My First Wedding: A Planner for Modern Couples (Simon & Schuster, $12.95). In it, he offers practically hilarious advice on everything from setting a date (''This depends on many things, the most important being: When is the baby due?'') to preparing for the big night (''Once you have the ring, it is no longer necessary or desirable to keep sleeping with your fiance'').

Originally posted Apr 09, 2004 Published in issue #759 Apr 09, 2004 Order article reprints

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