What to Watch for week of APRIL 12

'Peep': Ooh, pretty!

MONDAY

Series debut 8-8:30AM Peep and the Big Wide World (TLC, TV-G) Peep is a chick. Chirp was the bird. There was a duck named Quack. Peep and Quack were bouncing on something and Chirp couldn't see them. Then she could see them. Spring came. They found one flower and then there were a whole bunch of flowers. And then Quack smushed the one flower, because he was sleeping. The jack-in-the-box was scary. I like the bouncing part. I like the turtle. And Quack. And Peep. I liked everything! I like Chirp when she was trying to bounce. I like when...I don't know. A --Dale Ross (age 3)

8-8:30PM Dora the Explorer (Nickelodeon, TV-Y) It's a ''giggle-filled journey'' when Dora attends a ''super silly fiesta.'' Super silly, really? Wow.

8-9PM Fear Factor (NBC, TV-PG) Joe Rogan might as well wear a bib for all the drooling he'll be doing tonight upon welcoming Miss USA contestants to the show.

8-11:30PM The Alamo (TCM, TV-14-V) John Wayne talks about how awesome living in a republic is because you ''can live free, talk free, go or come, buy or sell, be drunk or sober.'' Then he dies, which isn't quite as awesome.

8-9PM Biography: Phil Hartman (A&E, TV-G) Your cable channels scare and confuse me with their ''remote controls'' and ''mute buttons.'' After all, I'm just a caveman.

9-10:59PM Miss USA 2004 (NBC, TV-PG) Well, if Billy Bush is cohosting, it must be legit.