Hooks and Lines

''There's so many fish in
the sea that only rise up
in the sweat and smoke like
mercury'' -- Elvis Costello, ''Accidents Will Happen''

IT STINKS! In just one couplet, he manages to pack in a cliché and a mixed metaphor. Plus, I have no idea what he's talking about. What sweat? Which fish? Why are they rising? And what does mercury have to do with it? -- RB

IT RULES! The fish are romantic prospects. The sweat and smoke suggest a bar scene. The mercury indicates a thermometer in that overheated club...but fish also have mercury poisoning.

Rob Brunner says these songs are classics, even though the lyrics are dumb (or unintelligible or nonexistent):
''Purple Rain,'' Prince
''Shake Some Action,'' Flamin' Groovies
''Red,'' King Crimson
''Sludgefeast,'' Dinosaur Jr.
''Starman,'' David Bowie
''To Here Knows When,'' My Bloody Valentine
''I Want You to Want Me,'' Cheap Trick
''Trans-Europe Express,'' Kraftwerk
''Third Stone From the Sun,'' Jimi Hendrix
''New Rose,'' The Damned

Chris Willman thinks these tracks prove that rock lyrics are the only poetry that counts:
''Long Shot,'' Aimee Mann
''Until the End of the World,'' U2
''Thunder Road,'' Bruce Springsteen
''The World's a Mess, It's in My Kiss,'' X
''Bastards of Young,'' The Replacements
''Red Dragon Tattoo,'' Fountains of Wayne
''I Want You to Hurt Like I Do,'' Randy Newman
''The Last Resort,'' Eagles
''In My Room,'' the Beach Boys
''Paradise by the Dashboard Light,'' Meat Loaf