We're pretty sure that when people envisioned the Survivor: All-Stars final five, names like Jenna, Tom, and Amber (!!!) weren't at the top of anyone's list. One thing that's easy to forecast, however, is a tense Tribal Council full of bruised egos on the finale (Sunday, May 9, 8 p.m.). If you think that the jury of previous players (which will include one of the folks to the right by the time you read this) will be able to put aside their personal preferences and appreciate the fact that they were outplayed, you're wrong. ''The personal burn is still pretty fresh,'' says host Jeff Probst. ''Those wounds are coming out, and you can see it.'' (Paging Lex van den Berghe.) But what about objectivity, you ask? ''This is the first Survivor where objectivity was gone before they even started,'' hints executive producer Mark Burnett. ''These are all gonna be emotional votes.'' Of course, the cagey Burnett could just be trying to throw us off the trail, which makes predicting a winner even more maddening.
Amber ODDS 2-1
STRONGEST MOVE Bringing a bikini. Then sitting back and letting her boyfriend, Rob, piss everyone off. And then there's also the cunning way she...um, well, we're sure she must've done something cunning. At some point. In her life.
WEAKEST MOVE Well, I guess the former Stuff cover girl could have also brought a thong -- just for insurance.
WHY SHE WILL WIN Her passive don't-look-at-me-unless-you're-looking-at-my-hot-bod approach would never win votes from hardcore competitors like Richard, Colby, and Ethan. But then again, they're not on the jury, so tough noogies for them.
WHY SHE WON'T WIN Not exactly a challenge-winning powerhouse. Would anyone besides Boston Rob want to bring such a pleasant, attractive lady to the finals?
WHAT THE ISLAND GODS SAY ''She certainly grew and evolved as a player since Australia,'' says Burnett. ''She's fit, dynamic, and very smart. But she's definitely tarred by the brush of Rob.'' Probst agrees: ''From where I sit, she is playing the smartest game in that she found the strongest guy, she's tucked neatly under his arm, and she is making him do all the dirty work.''
Rob ODDS 4-1
STRONGEST MOVE Convincing sucker of the century Lex to dump Jerri (right) instead of Amber, thereby ensuring his alliance had the numbers advantage post-merge.
WEAKEST MOVE Has alienated much of the jury with his double-dealing and wicked brusque personality. A little tact could have gone a long way.
WHY HE WILL WIN More than anyone, he deserves it: He schemed, scammed, and ruled the challenges. If he makes it to the final two, a jury would almost be compelled to give it to him in acknowledgment of his dominance. But...
WHY HE WON'T WIN ...Will the jury members be able to put the facts before their feelings? Does Lex, with a freshly cut Mohawk (right), look like he's ready to forgive and forget?
WHAT THE ISLAND GODS SAY ''His genuine love of Amber makes it very hard for him to think clearly,'' says Burnett. ''But if he keeps winning immunities, he'll be fine, won't he?'' Probst sums it up thus: ''The question for Rob is, if he makes it to the final two, will he finally give the jury the apology they want or does he say, 'Stick it up your ass'?'' We're hoping for the latter.
Rupert ODDS 6-1
STRONGEST MOVE At first, all eyes were on the larger-than-life fan favorite, but by being a hard worker, solid provider, and overall good guy, Rupert has been able to fly under the radar -- except when he gets all drunky-skunky and starts licking his plate.
WEAKEST MOVE Say, who wants to go build an underground shelter? That blunder might explain why he's since shunned the leadership role.
WHY HE WILL WIN Given the right challenges, the big fella is capable of putting together a string of victories, and if he makes it to the final two -- hey, he's Rupert! Who wouldn't want to vote for the guy?
WHY HE WON'T WIN He may look like a pirate, but Rupert is not exactly Cutthroat Island material. The only thing more unlikely than him scheming his way into the finals is someone else actually bringing him along.
WHAT THE ISLAND GODS SAY ''Rupert is maybe not the best strategist,'' concedes Probst in the understatement of the century. ''The only way Rupert can make it to the final two is with immunity.'' It could happen, says Burnett: ''Rob struggles to beat Rupert in the water challenges, so Rupert has every chance to get himself to the end.''
Jenna ODDS 15-1
STRONGEST MOVE She was the one calling the shots back at Saboga, although it's not like that tribe was exactly lighting up the island. Still, being queen of the losers is better than being just a plain ol' loser. We think.
WEAKEST MOVE Annoying the crap out of everyone with her constant chatter. Even the bugs are less relentless.
WHY SHE WILL WIN Unlike Rupert, who wouldn't want to bring her to the final two? And you know she won't hesitate to play the pity-the-single-mom card. That could carry some weight with the parents in the jury.
WHY SHE WON'T WIN Did we mention that she likes to talk? And talk. And talk. And...
WHAT THE ISLAND GODS SAY ''Jenna is annoying, and she knows it,'' Probst says. ''People could vote against her simply because she bugged them.'' But Burnett adds: ''It could be her strategy because if you're looked at as being very annoying, you're a good person to take to the final two.'' Strategy -- yeah, that's it.
Tom ODDS 20-1
STRONGEST MOVE Talking in an accent that no one can possibly understand has the added bonus of nobody being able to accuse you of going back on your word. Nice!
WHY HE WILL WIN The whole country-bumpkin act throws attention off the fact that he'll slit a friend's throat if need be. (Once again, paging Lex van den Berghe!) Plus, people might vote for him just to see him bust out that goofy celebratory dance.
WHY HE WON'T WIN Challenges aren't his forte. Neither is strategy. People may also still be confused by his visit from equally unintelligible son Bucky Bo (right).
WHAT THE ISLAND GODS SAY ''He's not this dumb farmer that he pretends to be,'' insists Probst, who then backtracks a bit with the statement that ''he's hoping for challenges that don't require a lot of thought, because puzzles don't work to his advantage.'' Burnett's ringing endorsement? ''He could really use the money, and no one hates him.''
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