Larry Bond's First Team (2004)

Reading a truly mediocre espionage thriller makes one appreciate writers like Tom Clancy and Robert Ludlum -- namely, their masterful orchestration of tension. Bond -- who apprenticed under Clancy on ''Red Storm Rising'' (and learned nothing) -- hatches the Team, a ragtag bunch of soldiers and spies called on to investigate, and immediately act upon, threats to national security. Since imagination is in short supply, this series debut sets the Team after an Islamic terrorist bent on dousing Honolulu in radioactive waste. It's lazily plotted, devoid of a single memorable set piece, and carries a distasteful misogynist streak a mile wide.