Here's a question they never addressed in Sunday school: What was it really like on Noah's ark? Maine offers one set of answers in his salty debut novel: It was boring, miserable, and cramped. The biblical patriarch, whom Maine calls Noe, was a priapic old tyrant with a direct line to God and a weary, angry wife (''Does he even know my name? Don't bet on it''). His sons were impatient, rebellious, and horny: ''If it's going to flood, then flood already,'' says Japheth. ''If not, well, I've got business to take care of, things to do, a wife to rut.'' It's not a profound novel, nor a memorable one, but Maine has spun a fun, irreverent tale from one of the oldest stories in the world.