''Tony Danza has his own talk show now.... It's my fault; I lowered the standard.'' DAVID LETTERMAN ON LATE SHOW
''It's Die Hard at Disneyland. What's not to love?'' HOLLYWOOD AGENT ARI (JEREMY PIVEN), DISCUSSING A SCRIPT WITH ERIC (KEVIN CONNOLLY), ON HBO'S ENTOURAGE
''I killed a man down South once.'' PERENNIAL CHAMP KEN JENNINGS, MAKING UP A FRESH FACT ABOUT HIMSELF, ON JEOPARDY!
''I think they're going to be nice enough. A little ditzy, maybe. I wouldn't be opposed to making out with either of them.'' FARMER'S SON SKY, ABOUT PARIS AND NICOLE, ON THE SIMPLE LIFE 2
''Ever since John Kerry named John Edwards as his running mate, a 34-year-old Indiana bail bonds-man named Kerry Edwards has received offers as high as $30,000 for his website, kerryedwards.com. Interestingly, Texarkana used-car dealer Nader Camejo has gotten nary a call.'' DENNIS MILLER ON CNBC'S DENNIS MILLER